Apego, Crianza y Lactancia Materna

Como criar niños sanos y felices para que se trasformen en los mejores adultos posibles de la próxima generación, sin renunciar en el intento a su vida y desarrollo personal.....

09 junio 2006

  • “ Bésame Mucho”
  • Gracias a este libro maravilloso del Dr. Carlos González hoy me siento tan feliz y liberada, entendiendo mis sentimientos como mamá, logro disfrutar las distintas etapas de crecimiento de mis hijos, su día a día, sin temor o restricciones, regalándonos todo el amor del mundo , sin pensar que estoy actuando mal al escuchar mi corazón y mi intuición de madre.

    Estas semanas han sido intensas , el libro ha removido sentimientos y pensamientos, de regocijo, alegría, ternura, gozo, también vergüenza, culpa ,dolor, pena , pero sobretodo el amor infinito que llena mi alma y se desborda. por todos y cada uno de mis hijos

    Me duele haber creído y aplicado el comentado y muy leído libro “Duérmete niño “ del Dr. Estivil y Silvia Béjar, Lo leí , casi lo aprendí de memoria, repasaba sus capítulos en especial el que hace hincapié de no dar paso atrás y usar la tabla de los tiempos al acostar a los niños, sin ceder a sus llantos.

    Con Daniel, mi marido ,sentíamos dudas al aplicar el sistema recomendado en el libro, sus indicaciones me hacían llorar a la par con mi pequeño cuando decidíamos que era tiempo de que durmiera solito, alrededor de los 7 meses. Al escucharle llorar desconsoladamente me partía el alma, me sentía tan miserable , pero ser débil significaba que mi niñito sería un “ niño problema, con problemas de adaptación, irritable, con retraso en el crecimiento, sufriría de insomnio toda su vida, lo que daría como resultado un adulto con infinidades de problemas psicológicos, sociales

    etc, etc…Yo…tontamente le creí, le creí, le creí…..miles de veces fui incapaz de mantenerme firme y entraba a abrazarle y arrullarle y el sentimiento de culpa era aplastante…….modificaba tiempos de espera de la tabla, le pedía a Daniel que me reemplazara y me refugiaba en el libro convencida que era lo mejor para mi hijo…………solo fui capaz de aplicarlo con dos de mis hijos (afortunadamente)……¡¡¡ cuanto dolor y lágrimas les causé ¡!!! ¡¿ Cuán tonta y crédula fui, al contener mis sentimientos y pensar que al arrullarlos al dormir y permitirnos el regalonearnos les causaría insomnio y miles de trancas ¡!!!?..........¡¡¡¡ Qué vergüenza y dolor siento ¡!!!! Yo su propia mamá les causé tanto dolor , que para mí ellos y su papá son lo más importante en mi vida…………..Mil, mil perdones a mi dulce Natalia, mi regalón Eduardo, mi travieso Tomás con quien quise aplicar el libro y no pude, pero lo intenté y felizmente mi conchito Matías. es el único que se salvó .

    Pero no quise quedarme “ pegada “ en el dolor y la equivocación , nuestros hijos son tan transparentes, llenos de amor e incapaces aún de guardar rencores, así que con Daniel decidimos enmendar en algo el daño causado……….en nuestra pieza con un sillón cama y un colchón en el suelo le dimos la sorpresa y la opción de poder elegir donde dormir.

    Cada noche, desde hace varias semanas duermen los tres mayores en el colchón sobre el suelo y Matías con nosotros en la cama matrimonial.

    La hora de dormir se ha transformado en una fiesta ¡ Todos juntos,!! ¡ Que rico ¡!.....eso gritan.

    Me siento tranquila, alegre, reconfortada y con una sensación de plenitud, además con el apoyo de Daniel que ha sido fundamental en este gran cambio y eso que aún no ha terminado de leer el libro....

    Todo ha sido un re-acomodo. Hoy hay ruido y risas hasta más tarde , pero se duermen muy contentos en el dormitorio de los “papás” donde mi Matías en la mitad de la noche reclama su “pechuga “ y yo me siento feliz aunque algo desvelada y no solo por los nuevos ruido sino porque no me canso de mirarles mientras duermen, taparlos y “ respirarlos “ a mi lado.

    Este libro me permitió liberarme de las calificaciones externas que me pesaban mucho de madre que malcría, muy aprensiva y sobre protectora pues en al noche me levantaba varias veces para responder a sus llamados y necesidades.

    Ahora que estamos juntos, todos tenemos un dormir más reposado y debo confesar que es un placer muy mío el verles dormir tranquilos y felices , muy cómodos sobre el gran colchón

    Daniel me mira con cariño y paciencia “ eres una loca adorable , que me cuesta entender “, su ayuda y apoyo es invaluable para mi y su sacrificio de dormir en tanto caos refleja cuanto nos ama, y ahora a él, no le importa “malcriar “.

    El tiempo no se puede retroceder y el dolor que les causé quise enmendarlo en lo posible con este cambio a la hora de dormir, es nuestra reconciliación, es mi forma de decirles “ los amo, los adoro y estamos siempre aquí con ustedes” acompañándolos en este reacomodo hasta que ustedes se sientas capaces y con ganas de dormir solitos, siempre que lo necesiten los sillones y las camas se pueden armar y desarmar, no hay reglas ni barreras, hay solo mucho amor y paciencia……..La vida, la crianza se basa en el amor, nos podemos equivocar y causar daño sin quererlo, lo importante es darse cuenta, pedir perdón y si se puede, ayudar a sanar las heridas causadas......eso aprendí yo con este maravilloso libro además de amarlos incondicionalmente, y dentro de las posibilidades, ahorrarles dolor, darles siempre amor, amor, mucho amor……es lo esperable y normal. Mil gracias Dr. González…….soy una mamá normal………………

    A UN MES DE TODOS ESTOS CAMBIOS, AHORA HAY CAMAROTES EM NUESTRA PIEZA.

    Ivette Riveros R

    28 Comments:

    Anonymous Désirée Sanz said...

    Me alegra que cambiases tu forma de crianza. Los niños no son personitas malintecionadas y manipuladoras que se nos suben a la chepa, sino seres humanos mamíferos, con importantes necesidades afectivas y muchas ganas de devolvernos el amor que les damos. Dormir con los hijos es algo maravilloso, amamantarlos es - como dice el Dr. Carlos González - "Un regalo para toda la vida".

    Se puede criar mal a un hijo dándole demasiadas cosas materiales pero nunca demasiado amor, atención, sonrisas y besos.

    Todos los padres nos equivocamos. Y lo hacemos casi diariamente. Tomamos decisiones de las que nos arrepentimos y tenemos reacciones que, minutos u horas después, nos hubiera gustado no tener.

    La vida adulta está llena de responsabilidades, estrés, trabajo...y muchas veces perdemos los nervios con nuestros hijos o no les dedicamos el suficiente tiempo por culpa de nuestros quehaceres...Pero debemos de priorizar atendiendo a nuestra forma de ver la crianza y de valorar nuestro trabajo. Yo, por ejemplo, soy muy maternal y poco ambiciosa a niel profesional. A veces me he arrepentido, porque he perdido cosas pero la mayor parte de las veces, ¿sabes qué? Me he sentido llena de felicidad por poderme dedicar a mis hijas casi todo el día, por poder comer y cenar con ellas, por disfrutar de su compañía.

    La infancia es una etapa muy breve y cuando nos demos cuenta añoraremos todo aquello que, en su momento, en ocasiones, nos agobiaba (muchos despertares nocturnos, cuatro personas en una cama, teta más tiempo fuera que guardada, muchos brazos...) Nuestros hijos nos necesitan y no tiene que venir ningún señor, por muy experto que sea, a decirnos que no debemos atenderlos si lloran de noche o nos necesitan.

    Un abrazo.

    5:07 p. m.  
    Anonymous Anónimo said...

    una como madre siempre esta a tiempo de cambiar su manera de crianza mientras los hijos estan pequeños, es importante darnos cuenta a tiempo de los errores que estamos cometiendo para poder cambiarlos y darles una mejor calidad de vida a nuestros hijos, ya que esto tambien afectara su futuro,, me alegro de la desicion que tomaste espero todo valla mejor ahora,,,

    5:18 p. m.  
    Blogger mamisetta said...

    Muchos somos los que cambiamos nuestra forma de entender la crianza cuando somos padres por primera vez.. y nos empieza a parecer aberrante aquello que antes nos parecia lo habitual.... Y efectivamente dejar llorar a un bebé es lo más antinatural y antimaternal que existe.... Desgraciadamente mucha gente lee a Estivil y lo toman como la Biblia...yo me conformaría con que todo el que lee ese libro leyera tambien Besame Mucho....
    Enhorabuena por tu decisión
    Los padres más felices son los que ven a sus hijos felices.
    Un saludo

    5:39 p. m.  
    Anonymous Anónimo said...

    Me siento totalmente identificada con tu historia. Gracias. Pancetastar

    8:25 p. m.  
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    Blogger vilmati said...

    Felicidades. Debe haber muchos padres como nosotros que lamentablemente hicimos caso a Estivill. Por suerte muchos también fuimos los que nos arrepentimos, los que sentimos lo antimaternal del horrible método.
    A mi me cuesta perdonarme también. Me duele, y pienso que fué una de las peores cosas que le hice a mi hija. Desearía que no existiera ese libro, desearía poder sacarlo de las librerías, que no lo pongan en las vidrieras,por el bien de nuestros hijos, por el bien de otros papás, que en esos momentos de vulnerabilidad pueden llegar a creerle...
    Me alegra que uds. encontraran otra solución y desde el amor.
    Dulces sueños!!

    12:22 a. m.  
    Blogger carrillejoisasi said...

    Me encantó este libro, también me dolió mucho porque ya tenía un hijo de 7 años además de la que era entonces mi bebe.

    9:31 a. m.  
    Blogger Alejandra said...

    Yo no soporto a esas mamás que con bebé de apenas un mes quieren que duerman solos, coman fórmula y además que duerman de corrido toda la noche...si querian un juguete lo hubieran comprado...felicidades por tu decisión.

    7:44 p. m.  
    Blogger hijo fulo said...

    que alegria encontrar personas en chile que crien a sus hijos con respeto y compasion, no importa desde cuando, lo importante es que hayas tomado la desicion de hacerlo. Ojala podamos compartir nuestra forma de crianza

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